Showing posts with label radio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label radio. Show all posts

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Writer's Contest - Jewish Producer v Debi Daly (Part 2 of 2!)

PART 2 of 2 - Writing contest: The proposal calls for Debi and Jewish Producer to each write a 300 word (minimum) essay.  Each essay will be displayed without the author's name attached to the post.   You the reader will have to determine the author of each penned blog-post.  See below, read the first post and guess who wrote it in the comment section.. Is the author of the following Debi or JP????

Essay #2:  I hate Fellow Shoppers.

Today I was pulled out of my daydream by the reality of a woman asking the cashier at Macy's in Northpark Mall if they sold a certain dress in a size different than the one she was holding. How dare she distract this overworked, minimum wage, neanderthal to ask the stupid question.  "No Mam, we keep several things hidden from people like you", is what I said to myself. 

The cashier said without even looking at the dress "Nope".  I could sense that the cashier was actually happy that this poor woman would now have to scour the Earth for her precious size 22.  It simply amazes me the way people are so rude.  They seem so "deserving."   The cashier , who was young and a little asexual, offered (without looking up, naturally), "I think there's another place somewhere around here, but I think they moved. I'd Google it if I were you." The poor, overweight woman was nearly sweating. We could all then see that she didn't speak English very well and didn't understand any of what cashier  had said. But she could smell the tension and didn't dare ask for it to be repeated.  She turned away, bowed her head and moved on with her life, dress-less and broken. My heart softened and I wanted to shout after her, "I will help you Google it!" but I couldn't speak. There was no more water in my decaying body and my mouth would not open.
Forty-five minutes later, I was barely carrying a pulse when the unthinkable happened.   The cashier spoke to me and said "Did you find everything okay?"  It was time. I was the chosen.  I peeled myself off the end cap I'd been laying on and rolled the squeaky stroller to the heart of the hell-mouth. I was faced with a dilemma; Now that I was in the driver's seat, should I dish back the unfriendly filth this demon had spewed over all of us, or should I take the high road. I thought about my family whom I'm sure would've immediately laid into this cashier, so I resisted my DNA and chose the high road. I didn't know where this was coming from, it was as if I was possessed or had forgotten the 45 minutes of my life that had just been pillaged from me, but I was actually friendly with cashier . It must've been that I knew I would be getting my life back soon. How the faintest glimmer of hope can lift the soul. I spoke in concise sentences so that those whom came after me would not be burdened by my needs or extra chatter. Because of this, I was pretty sure I got the wrong amount of fabric, but fuck it, there was no going back.  The cashier  mumbled about their "system" needing to reboot and my knees buckled, and I thought…."I hate fellow shoppers."

Thursday, August 28, 2014

JP's Skype Chat With Mr. Solution

MR. SOLUTION: Hello JP, I ttrust that my communication finds you in the highest of spirits ;) Please see below the email that I forwarded to our beloved Truth Clown #1... Hi Truth-Clown; send me the link to your new show on Spreaker. Being an internet 1st amendment Super Hero, I knew one of your superior debate prowess could not be party to such a vaccous wiin as was alleged in our most recent debate debacle. Mr. Solution - I am also cc-ing our lovable villiage idiot and twin Truth Clown JP.

 



Jewish Producer: I will forward this to the world and Mr. Midnight Movie, grammatical errors/typos included. Also remember that you went running to Goofybone as if you were about to attempt some grand coup de grĂ¢ce on MMM and please, if I may, fart in your general direction. This was a cowardice, transparent gambit. Smooth move, exlax. I look forward to more of your similarly fumbled punts.

Monday, May 27, 2013

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